Why is it that when everything seems to be going wonderfully you find a way to find something wrong. I only seem to function well in chaos. I seem to be only capable of being alive and full of emotion when something in my life is terribly out of control or I have to make huge life choices. Perhaps I don't feel like I am alive when there isn't something making my heart race, my emotions spin out of control with the need to hang on to something to avoid losing my grip on reality. My creative juices aren't flowing...because...well...I think I am happy. I have a job, a wonderful family, amazing friends and someone who I care about. It just seems too easy to feel this good. There is no drama, no heartache, no what-ifs? So why the funk do I feel the need to grab the etch-a-sketch, shake it up and start over?
Monday, July 16, 2007
Chaos...where are you?
Why is it that when everything seems to be going wonderfully you find a way to find something wrong. I only seem to function well in chaos. I seem to be only capable of being alive and full of emotion when something in my life is terribly out of control or I have to make huge life choices. Perhaps I don't feel like I am alive when there isn't something making my heart race, my emotions spin out of control with the need to hang on to something to avoid losing my grip on reality. My creative juices aren't flowing...because...well...I think I am happy. I have a job, a wonderful family, amazing friends and someone who I care about. It just seems too easy to feel this good. There is no drama, no heartache, no what-ifs? So why the funk do I feel the need to grab the etch-a-sketch, shake it up and start over?
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6 comments:
Oh girl! grab an etch a sketch and shake it up ... things can be shaken up in a good way ,,, really ,,, think creatively ,,, hm... think maybe I have sex on the brain?? ha!
Welcome back! We missed you.
Glad to hear that you've found happiness! Don't bother needed to shake things up, that'll happen soon enough on its own. Enjoy it while it lasts, Sistah!
oh girl, I would kill for a happy life right now. I'm sure I'd try and dramatise it when I got it but right now love and peace is what I need. Enjoy it why you have it and leave that etcher sketcher on the shelf for the time being
Gretta x
I know exactly what you mean. Same here. Being happy is such an odd feeling that I feel the need to find a reason to put a damper on it. I don't get it, either. Perhaps we should channel that energy into creative huge life choices that will better our lives.
Dude, we don't talk enough. And you're in the NEXT ROOM! That's just wrong. We need to mauw some Indian and catch up. Soon.
Awww.. you and Jas are friends offline too?? I am so jealous... I want to eat Indian food with you guys! ;)
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