Who am I?

I make fun of people to get a laugh. I have a bad temper. I don't feel sorry for people. I get upset when I see animals abused on TV but barely bat and eyelash when people get murdered. I tell fibs to avoid hurting others. I like to flirt shamelessly with boys knowing full well I am not taking them home. Sometimes I don't brush my teeth in the morning. I hold things inside until I finally blow up at others who are often undeserving of it. I pee in the shower. I say horrible things under my breath to bad drivers. I have a really hard time telling people I care about them. I only like to hug certain friends and family. I used to make fun of people who watched CSI and now I am addicted. I don't like my friends dog...I think she is borderline retarded. I say things that are politically incorrect (see previous sentence). I have a nice figure, so I am told, but I constantly look in the mirror and tell myself I am fat. I think about what I am going to eat for the day as soon as I get out of bed. I am addicted to using the Entertainment book and try to only eat at those listed because I am cheap. I give the middle finger when I walk passed my neighbour's door because I think she is a miserable old spinster who complains too much. I hardly ever have my dog on a leash. Children annoy me. This is who I am. I will try to do my best to stop being negative and be more loving...but I can't promise you anything.