Sprung a Leak

Why do I have such a difficult time letting people into my life? I think that I have learned to tuck my emotions under the sheets so that no one can judge or ask questions. I keep things to myself mostly and I use humour to express my feelings. This can be very effective and makes others more comfortable but it does not take that crushing weight off of my shoulders that I sometimes feel.
I am very wary of who I let into my emotional bubble and those of you who are close to me know how hard it was to break down that giant cement barrier I built to protect myself. But slowly as the years past, I sprung a leak. I am learning to let people in, see me for who I am, all my flaws, all my issues, all my hurt and all my joy. By letting those I care about into my life fully and completely I realized that they do not judge, they do not ask, they simply listen and love me for who I am and I want to thank you for finally letting me let you in.

The Ultimate Fan

Passionate about their favourite team
Will go to any length to get free paraphernalia
Paint their faces regardless of how silly they look
Spend their savings on a jersey worn by their hero


and...


Decorate your car and home to let the people of Vancouver know how much you support the team!

I pass by this hockey fan's house every morning, I just couldn't resist to share it with you!

GO CANUCKS!!!

Plastic on the Sofa

You know those people who have their sofas covered in plastic so that they will forever look great and never sat on...I think I am turning into one of those people! Growing up I remember making fun of my girlfriend's parents because they would drape their nice furniture in ratty towels so that no spills or marks would get on them, and low and behold, my gal pal started doing the same thing, and I would tease the hell out of her. Well...when I decided to finally spend the money and invest in some new furniture, seeing as everything in my apartment is second hand, I decided on a dark red couch and cream chair. I love the colours and the pieces looked great against my yellow walls and other accessories, but I did not take into consideration that my dog is a golden yellow colour and my cat has black fur...oops! I don't let me dog on my furniture, but when I am not home I have no control. My cat chillaxes on the cream chair and the dog sprawls himself on the couch...so I come home to animal hair all over my beautiful furniture, argh! So I decided that when I go out I would throw and old sheet over the sofa. The idea is great, but when I get home, I keep the sheet on while I eat dinner because I don't want to spill on it (starting to sound like an old crazy couch lady hey), and now it has somehow become part of the sofa...it is so ugly with big Ivy leaves on it and dog drool stains. The only time I do take it off is when I clean the apartment or have company over...so I am not getting to enjoy my own furniture because I am suffering from an animal hair breakdown! So I am going to take the plunge and take that damn thing off as soon as I walk in the door of my apartment and appreciate the beautiful things I scrimped and saved for and enjoy it!!!

I was in my garden yesterday and took some photos of my flowers...enjoy!

Waiting...

As the spring arrives so does the feeling of new beginnings. I often wonder when my life is supposed to "start". I sit in idle and I feel as though I am always waiting for something....waiting for what I am not really sure of. For the perfect job, my soul mate, that moment when I feel I have accomplished or overcome something? Then I realize, what am I waiting for...this is it. Life is happening around me and there is no stopping it, there is no pause button. This is my life and I better start living it and stop "waiting" for something that may never come.

From now on I am going to live my life to the fullest, try to make the best out of any situation, stop sweating the small stuff, be positive and do things that make me happy.

Down for the count

Ok, so it has been almost two weeks and I am still really sick. I coughed so much the other night I literally pulled a muscle in my side. It hurts to cough, laugh or even move! So I said "this is it, I am going to the Dr.". So I get an appointment and my doc prescribed me Biaxin XL 500. Holy crap this drug is scary. I take my dosage that the pharmacist recommends and then next thing I know I am soooo drowsy that I barely made it to the bedroom to lie down. Then at midnight I wake up sweating like crazy, I am talking soaking wet and shivering, I run to the bathroom where I wretch. Sorry this is gross, but someone else needs to feel my pain for a minute. After lying on my bathroom floor for a good 5min, I decide to go back to bed. I felt like I was high. I could barely focus, stumbled to the bed and passed out again. I barely made it to work this morning...to be honest I probably shouldn't be here, but I have school tonight and would feel guilty if I went to school and not work. So anyways, I check out this Biaxin XL on the internet and there is a list of side effects that I seem to have all of. I am so scared to take more because of the traumatic experience last night, but apparently these are normal and I am to continue taking them to get rid of my horrible cough. I think I might be better off drinking myself into a stupor, at least I will enjoy it. So for those of you who are prescribed Biaxin XL this is your warning...as it will knock you on your ass!

Maternal Clock my ass!

I am thirty-something and very comfortable with being single, living in a condo, drinking red wine and sharing my deepest moments with my dog and cat...does that sound pathetic? When I was a little girl I thought that by age 24 I would be married with kids and live happily ever after. I keep thinking "Is there something wrong with me?" But then I make a mental checklist of my friends' lives and realize that most of them, some who are in long term relationships, are still hittn' the pubs, being reckless and sleeping until noon on weekends. This makes me feel a little more at ease. Yes I am getting older, but I still have soooo much to do before I "settle down". There is too much of this world to see and too much to do, and seems like as soon as you have children the seeing and doing becomes further out of reach. Maybe I feel this way because I have no desire to have children. Even when I was in a long term relationship, the thought of getting pregnant never crossed my mind. I can't explain what it is, but children, as much as they can be cute and funny, when I am around them they make me I sweat. I can barely watch my five year old niece eat because I think she is going to choke on her food...she is five and is way pass the stage of stuffing anything and everything into her mouth but I can't bear to be in the same room. When she wants to play Barbie, which I used to spend hours doing as a child, I can now only handle maybe 20min. This makes me wonder if my maternal clock has a faulty battery, because mine isn't ticking. I have a couple girlfriends with whom I keep in touch with (meaning a once a year birthday wish phone call) who have children and I can barely have a phone conversation with them because they are only half listening to me while the other half is them telling their kids to stop picking things off the floor, climbing on the furniture, blah, blah, blah. After I hung up the phone a shiver went down my spine, the kind you get when someone drags their nails over a chalk board...ughhhh! I feel terrible about this physical rejection of children but perhaps I have been put on this earth to help with the population control. I know, I know, everyone says these feelings will all change when I meet the "right guy", but what if I do and I still don't want any two foot nothings running around the house? Does that make me a horrible person?

10 Things I Love About Spring

Cherry Blossoms and how their petals fall like snow

Cool, fresh air and the warm sun on my face

Birds singing their lovesongs
Gardening

The sound of children playing outside

Tulips, my favorite flower

Firing up the BBQ and chilling on the patio

Shopping for new spring fashions

A visit from the Easter Bunny
Hockey playoffs. Go Canucks!

I 'heart' my dog

Ok I don't want to sound like a crazy dog person but my Charlie is just so damn cute. I rescued my boy from the SPCA http://www.spca.bc.ca/ over four years ago, and although it was a stressful few weeks when I first adopted him...it was worth it. He is always excited to see me, will always come to me when I call him, and he looks up to me with these big brown eyes that say "I will love you always and unconditionally!". He can be a bit much sometimes I admit, for instance I cannot go anywhere in my aparment without him, even the bathtub. He leans his head over the side while I bathe meanwhile my cat Marvin straddles the edge of the tub and stretches his neck out to drink the soapy bath water...why do cats drink out of everything but their water dish?! Anyways, the reason I wrote this is because this morning I was having a tough time draggin' my ass out of bed and all I needed to do was say "morning" to my sweetpea and his tail starts wagging, he grabs his ball, hops up onto the bed, tramples me, then offers sloppy wet kisses! I don't know any other living creature who is that excited to get up at 5:15am.

If you need a companion and you have time to spare, a little bit of cash and the love of the outdoors, visit your local SPCA and give a pet a loving home. Howz that for a plug?!

Single in the City

Sorry it's been so long for any one who is reading this, but I have been ill. I am talking puffy eyes, snot that never ends and a hacking cough that keeps me up all night, so basically I have not slept since Sunday, and I am feeling a bit gummy and worn. I thought I had my first public speaking class tonight and hit the library to check where my class is, turns out its tomorrow night. Doh!!!! So here I am at the computer lab typing away like mad so as to avoid going back to my pit of a house and watching one more horrible daytime makeover show...how many does there need to be for goodness sakes! Ok, so I am trying to learn to be on my own aka single, and I tell you it is damn hard. I have been in a relationship for pretty much half of my life and I am only 31 yikes! I am not a bar star, so going to meet boys under pulsating lights and disco music is not going to happen. Last weekend I actually did go to the bar for a birthday bash, and it was very fun, and I danced my ass off, but I forgot to take a look around for single boys. Instead I clung on to my friends who are all dating, married, to be married or gay...what am I doing wrong here? I did get some guy at the bar line up to buy me a drink, he was extremely tall with curly hair and cute, but I could give two poops that he may have been single because I was too focused on getting back on the dance floor to swing dance with a married friend of mine who spent half the night mooning people...I need to get out more. I enjoy hiking with my dog, but you only meet hippies with five dogs gripping a can of bear spray or boys who are already with a gal and their dog...and their baby...oh the perfect family, gag! So I have decided to take suggestions from those who have played the field. I know my friends have been there and done that and most of them are all happily hitched, but they had their trials and tribulations and one night stands...so give it to me...I am listening!

Small favours

I have a lot of spare time at work, and I made the mistake of telling a friend of mine that I could print some posters up for her. Well she decided to spread the word to fellow entrepenuers looking for a good deal on printing and pointed them in my direction. So I get this email from a guy who wants business cards and I think to myself, this can't be that difficult, besides my girlfriend told me this guy was hot...so I am thinking, I will dazzle him with my printing capabilities and maybe get a hot date out of it. So I say sure bring it on, send me the layout and I will quickly print up some media for you. Well...little did I know every printer in this building really doesn't like printing business card stock, so a 30 min job turned into a 3 hour job of picking out paper jams with tweasers and using up the IT guys time helping me...but luckily I flirted my way through it and he didn't seem to mind helping...so anyways, finally I get the job done, and it looks like shit, so now I feel like a tool because these people think I am working at a print shop and expect high quality stock, but instead they get flimsy card stock with perferated edges that take the colour off once you rip them...I broke down and sent an email explaining that I am no wizard at this and you can pick up your cards even thought they look like ass. God I hope he sends his business partner and does not pick them up in person 'cause I have a huge zit on my chin, my hair is flat and the cards are way below par and I feel dumb asking for $15 for the cost of the paper. I am out of the printing business for good.

Dysfunction Junction

Growing up I thought I was the only kid on the block who grew up in a nut house. In high school I would go to my friend’s house for family dinners and think..."is this what normal is supposed to be?" But as I grew older I realized that there is no such thing as a "normal" family. There is sibling rivalry, unless you are an only child, then you are usually weird or spoiled rotten, trust me, we can spot you a mile away...but we still love you. Then there is the strange cousin who everyone feels sorry for but still won't sit beside them at family dinners and the token drunk who seems to make an ass out of themselves at every family function. And I won't forget the denial our parents were in when growing up. When your teenage daughter asks to go to a sleep over at her friend’s house...chances are she experimenting with boys and drinking whatever mix they concocted from one of the parents basement bars. Until this day, my dad never thought it strange that I really enjoyed playing barbies, watching movies and eating popcorn every weekend at 16/17 years of age...DENIAL!

This story stemmed from a birthday dinner at my "second" family's house on the weekend. They are a hilarious group of individuals who each have their own unique characteristics and quirks, but damn are they entertaining. I don't know any other family who talks about blow jobs and starting a family grow-op over birthday cake. I wouldn't trade them for the world!