Why is it that when you finally have the courage to speak how you truly feel the reaction is not ever what you expected or desired. You go through life holding back, burying it deeper and deeper until you feel the lump in your throat choke back those words that you want so badly to say. Growing up we seem to have developed this idea to keep the truth to ourselves if you feel it may hurt someone you care about. But in reality the more you avoid it, the harder it is to face it. That feeling in your gut, the rush of blood through your body, the uncontrollable butterflies...that is your true emotion...and you can't stop it no matter how hard you try. So what do we do...we hide them as best we can to avoid someone you care about knowing how you really feel. It may be that you are angry or upset with them and you simply don't want to hurt them or it may be that you desire them but you are too scared to find out that they don't desire you back. So we go through life reasoning with ourselves instead of being 'real' with ourselves. I admire those who simply say it like it is, no bullshit, and no worries. They are genuine, honest, and fearless and they are simply saying what everybody else is thinking.I am going through many life changes and realizations, as you all may have noticed, and this is another hurdle that I wish to get over. From now on I am "Keepn' It Real" and so what if you don't like it. Life is short. Not only be honest with yourself, but be honest with those you care about.
3 comments:
I so wish I could do this. I wish I could master that mindset of saying what's on my mind and dealing with the repercussions rather than living with the fear of them. But it's so much harder to do than I thought it'd be.
Yah, we will see how well I do...I know I suck at it.
Yes -- it can be a double edged sword many a times eh? But you'd be surprised sometimes of the reactions you get whenever you spill your heart out. Though you get the "undesired" reactions sometimes, at least you're done taking the burden off your shoulders and you're putting the ball on that other person's court.
As you're going through many hurdles in life, do know that you're never alone in going through them :)
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